Editor’s note: This piece was told to Kristen Nicole Powell due to the writer’s current incarceration.
Young advocates can be much more emotionally invested in advocacy work because of their lived experience. The light that burns inside of us started from a spark. But, if we’re not careful, that same spark could turn into a wildfire. A lot of us have experienced violence, abuse, a lack of love, or insufficient community support both inside and outside of the child welfare system. Without proper support, the impact of these experiences can manifest in multiple ways, such as substance abuse and mental health disorders. When we go straight into advocacy work while we are still surviving and carrying the weight of our trauma, we are forced to internalize our pain.
Too many times, our communities can forget that our young advocates come from backgrounds of severe childhood trauma and pain that are yet to be addressed. It is critical to learn about the pressing issues our young advocates face to be able to help their flames stay ablaze. We tend to see these young leaders as golden children and hold them to unreachable standards. This can also come from a tendency for communities to elevate young advocates with lived experience by placing them on a pedestal and in the spotlight, which can be a heavy burden. This is where our flames can turn into a wildfire. When we are faced with setbacks or slow progress, we can spiral into negative thoughts and feelings of disappointment, worthlessness, and emptiness. This can be harmful to ourselves and to those around us, overshadow the personal challenges that they face, and consequently put out the flame that shines light to our world.
As young advocates with lived experience, we may hold ourselves to high standards and have a strong sense of urgency to create change around us. A lot of advocates struggle with the expectation to be perfect and to always remain on an upward trajectory. They also struggle with the belief that our worth as an advocate is measured in policy changes and big wins. This creates a dilemma where, on one hand, we are celebrated for our strength and resilience, but, on the other hand, we are expected to be immune to setbacks and to the challenges that originally shaped us. These unrealistic expectations are lies that we let take power over our lives and on our self-worth.
Think of a campfire when tending your flame. In a campfire, you want to make sure to add just the right amount of wood. Adding too much wood can cause the fire to burn too hot (which can actually start a wildfire). But if you don’t add enough wood, the fire can burn out.
Adding too much to your fire all at once can turn your spark into a wildfire. Your wildfire can eventually come to a burnout, causing your spark to cease to exist entirely. Burnout can cause us to give up on our passion and leave our advocacy work. We experience burnout by trying to live up to all of the unrealistic expectations. When we can’t live up to the unrealistic expectations, we internalize our emotions and our true feelings in fear of disappointing others. This can cause isolation and depression. Even worse, it can push us to lose hope and fall back into our old ways. This is what we never want to happen.
What does tending the flames of your fire look like? How can you keep from experiencing a wildfire or burnout? In order to address unrealistic expectations, we must confront the reality that everyone regardless of their experiences will make mistakes and experience setbacks. Healing is not linear — it is a journey filled with ups and downs. We need to normalize recognizing and honoring each other’s humanity and acknowledging that we are allowed to stumble and seek support without judgment. It’s essential to create spaces where asking for help is seen as a sign of strength and not a weakness. This is how we can truly support the well-being of people with lived experience and give them room to navigate their journeys with authenticity and curiosity.
To address burnout, young advocates must prioritize their healing and self-care, establish boundaries, and advocate for systemic changes within community organizing and advocacy spaces. Even more importantly, we need to establish a support network. Who are those people you can call when you need help? Is there someone you trust that you can go to and say “I am not okay?” By establishing a culture of love, humanity, and solidarity, we can support people with lived experience in sustaining our advocacy work and tending the flames of the fire that burns inside each of us.
