This article is published in partnership with Foster Advocates.
April 12, 2013 was the beginning of one of the most unstable times of my life. Eight months into my sophomore year of high school, CPS came unexpectedly to remove me from my home prior to the two-week notice they had given. I was snatched out of school, vanishing without a trace as I entered foster care. Due to the seriousness of the abuse I was experiencing at home, I was placed in emergency foster care in Saint Francis, MN, while I was eight weeks pregnant. During the first four months of being in foster care, I had to enroll in online classes during the summer due to the lack of a secure placement for me. Nevertheless, I tried to make the best of it, but it was hard to do. Between being pregnant, being in a new setting, and having constant court dates and therapy sessions, I didn’t have much time to focus on education. At this moment, I thought, what was the point of focusing on education anyway? I’ve already been told by the state prosecutors I’m a statistic who wouldn’t make it far in life anyways.
In July 2013, I was again sent to another placement in Lino Lakes, MN. I was taken out of the emergency foster home because I was feeling unsafe while being bullied by my foster mom. This new placement was a facility where I didn’t leave for anything. I would eat, sleep, and go to school in the same spaces. This felt like I was in jail for the nine months I was there. I felt scared, abandoned, and depressed. This wasn’t a therapeutic or soothing experience. It was an intense experience going through pregnancy, dealing with trauma, and being in this very harsh environment. Staff acted like probation officers, always yelling to correct the smallest things like if you dropped your fork on the floor. This would be considered breaking the rules, which often led to a group session where punishments are given to all youth in this facility as a way of holding them accountable for their actions. After the birth of my daughter, I was going to these “therapy” sessions to unload and heal from some past trauma, but information from these sessions was used to build a case against me to revoke parental rights. My social worker and staff told me to disclose my trauma in these sessions. Later on, I found out if I didn’t disclose my trauma history, I would lose privileges within the facility. Even though I compiled, my daughter was placed into foster care, and my parental rights were terminated.
It was extremely difficult to focus on education because of the unfair treatment that was going on around me at the facility. Interruptions, like breastfeeding, doctor visits for my newborn, court dates, and therapy, were being juggled at the expense of my education. I wasn’t getting the answers to the questions I was asking pertaining to education from staff. At Pine School, within the facility, we all learned the same subject matter no matter our age. It was hard to actually know what level I should be at, while only being in school three times a week for three hours a day. I was getting in trouble for asking for a different placement. It all felt so wrong. After my daughter was taken from me, I was afraid to disclose what was happening at this correctional facility to anyone, so my guardian ad litem knew nothing about what was happening. I tried to remain optimistic and hopeful thinking about my daughter and getting a different placement sooner rather than later. My social worker started coming to the facility to talk about possible opportunities of getting placed elsewhere. Fortunately, a new home opened up, and I was ever so grateful!
After leaving this facility in 2015, I began to have a little more control of my education living in a youth shelter. I went to a school that supported teen parents. With the hopes of having a supportive environment, I wanted to show the county I could finish my education and work on reunification with my child. My social worker had a meeting with myself and the group home manager where she informed us I was going into my junior year at Andover High School. Attending this school felt freeing because it felt more normal to have good interactions with peers. I knew where I stood in my education and what was next for me. It was a huge adjustment because my peers knew I was in a group home, and my teachers treated me a little differently. I noticed that I needed more help in some subject areas compared to my peers. I was a little embarrassed to ask for help because I felt I should have known information, but I was never taught a lot of what I was seeing. I was able to graduate in spring of 2016.
As a second-year student at St. Paul College, I am still working on being reunified with my daughter, but I do have the opportunity to see her frequently. Despite the adversities I’ve faced, I have and continue to persevere through my educational journey. The disadvantages Fosters start off with the second they are put in care is unfair. But with how far I, and a lot of my fellow Fosters, have come, it goes to show anything is possible no matter how the odds are stacked against you.
