I was never a “small dream” kind of person. I don’t think a lot of people are. I remember looks and pauses whenever I was asked what I want to do or what I dream to do, and I would answer truthfully. I simply thought, no matter your age, when someone asks you what you dream to be, you answer. I believed that is what we do.We dream and pursue it completely and fully. I was not under the impression the world thought differently and expected differently as you grow up. The world doesn’t spin on dreams. The world spins on those who have them and who fight to keep them. Yet, with a little faith, foster youth and formerly incarcerated youth are built differently. Navigating a fixed game where no odds are in your favor is just a normal Tuesday.
I knew at a very young age what I wanted to be, as it is still the same to this day. I wanted to do everything I could to be a part of movies. Making movies, filming movies, starring in them — I didn’t care as long as I was a part of them. Ten-year-old me had never been happier until I started to notice the careful but disapproving reactions. I observed people’s reluctance in encouraging me for a job rarely many people get to do. I never changed my mind. I continued all the way through high school and soared academically in other ventures, and my heart and mind never wavered. I really did it too. I got the whole package and soon was off to the four-year institution that provided me with a full ride scholarship. The expectation of a future does not guarantee a future. It is an amazing achievement for anyone to attend college and is challenging on the regular degree. When considering the combination of lack of financial support, secure housing, and familial care that foster youth and impacted communities face, no wonder the statistics are extremely low.
I remember my first day of college being cheerfully told “Did you know only 5% [of foster youth] graduate from a four-year college? Really, good luck!” Not a very winning statistic to hear, they also forgot to mention that only 2-6% complete a degree from a two-year college. I chose to not let it waver me. I believed in myself enough to try, so I did. Truly, it is the highest irony the pressure and expectation that is put on foster youth as they are aging out to attend a four-year college and complete a degree. I went through it myself. I remember the constant daily stream of “pep talks” via social workers that college would be my way out. Without an education, I would end up on the streets blended into those ever-growing statistics in the DCFS database. It was a gentle sort of warning and a dash of condescension. I imagine this same sort of speech being churned out to current countless foster youth throughout the Los Angeles area.
I believe there is an unfair set of pressure and expectation put upon aging-out foster youth and impacted communities alike to set forth ahead and, despite all odds, achieve a complete four-year degree without the means of stability. Colleges pride themselves on what they can do for you. For a youth with nothing, every little bit is everything. Colleges are homes, shelters, resources, and futures. Anyone would be inclined to remind foster youth of the chance and opportunity, especially with the financial coverage the state provides through financial aid scholarships. Though, it is tricky to navigate as current and former foster youth tend to experience massive cuts in financial support or other areas of need. The statistics do not appear out of thin air. As foster youth continue to age out, there is no significant and permanent support. Funding has to be consistent in order for true impact among communities. The pursuit of college is wonderful yet not sustainable. The dream can only go so far. To further consistent government funding and financial aid, more dreams can actually be achieved.
I will never be a “small dream” person. I’ve learned this through following dreams of what I was told to do, so I did. I followed a dream dreamt by somebody else and went along with it, hoping it was worth it. Parts of it were, mostly to know just what I will never do again. I learned to never exclude myself in the determination of my own life. I hope every youth in a similar position will do the same, and I advocate for this deeply. I want more for every youth alike and myself, and no less will be accepted.
