This column relates accounts of family engagement by a nonprofit working to keep families together while avoiding child welfare involvement.
Allen was 13 when he dialed 911 for help. He found his mother, Rut, unconscious and shaking, and he immediately called for an ambulance. Paramedics took Rut to the hospital, and Child Protective Services (CPS) placed Allen in foster care, citing concerns about Rut’s alcohol abuse.
Seven months later, Allen was reunited with his mother after she completed the court’s requirements. She was referred to us soon after reunification on December 3, 2020, by Allen’s guardian ad litem over concerns that Rut had relapsed and was at risk of losing Allen again to foster care.
We called Rut the day of the referral and asked how we could help. She said she did not need anything — she had a job, housing, food and a car — and thanked us, urging us to find people who “actually” needed help.
A week later, we tried again and asked if Allen needed anything for the holidays and whether they had a Christmas tree. She said they did not and that Allen loved nnLegos, so we arranged same-day delivery of a tree and Lego sets. She texted to thank us, saying she was surprised by the quick help.
That evening, after the positive text exchange, we called to check in again. We asked what else her family needed for the holidays and whether there was anything we could do to make the season easier. We offered options — more gifts for Allen, help with groceries, or a small outing — and said we could meet for coffee or lunch if she preferred. We made clear she could say no and that any next step would be her choice. After a long pause, she began to cry. “I need people. I am alone,” she said. She explained she had pulled away from friends who were still drinking and feared relapsing again.
We encouraged her and invited her to Celebrate Recovery, a 12-step program we partner with that aligns with her Christian faith. She began attending weekly. In the group, she acknowledged relapsing after being reunified with her son and said she feared the court would remove Allen again. We sometimes sat beside her at meetings and urged her to keep working on her recovery. Showing up became the first commitment — hers and ours.
Months later, she said she had refused our help at first because she feared that accepting assistance from anyone connected to CPS might jeopardize reunification. She added that what she needed — but was afraid to ask for — was recovery support and connection to a healthy community, plus help with a car repair to keep work and court appointments.
We stayed consistent with brief check-ins after recovery meetings and before the next, clear follow-up and placing her recovery schedule on her calendar and ours. We paid for a necessary car repair to ensure she had reliable transportation to work, court, and recovery meetings.
As trust grew, she described the trauma of the seven months Allen spent in foster care. She said she could not bring herself to sleep in their apartment because entering the apartment triggered panic attacks, so she often slept in her car in the apartment’s parking lot instead. She said Allen also struggled with fear and anxiety in foster care, and her biggest fear now was losing him again.
Even as trust deepened, she struggled to ask for help. We noticed she often held her jaw and covered her mouth. When we asked, she said severe dental pain made it hard to eat or sleep and that she could not afford treatment or find an affordable clinic with openings. We mobilized our network and located a dentist and an oral surgeon who agreed to see her within a week at no cost to her.
A public fundraiser we launched raised nearly $2,000 for her dental treatment, which we paid directly to the clinic for extractions and other dental and follow-up care. After treatment, the pain eased. Rut said she was able to sleep better, attend meetings without discomfort, and could better care for herself and Allen.
By spring 2021, the court and CPS closed her case, as they no longer had concerns about her alcohol use. When the case was closed, Rut surprised us by telling us that she was pregnant with her second child, Thomas. She indicated that she wanted to stay closely connected with our community and volunteer.
Rut was eager to help in any way that was needed. She folded clothing, stocked shelves, and greeted families at our family resource center. She encouraged mothers who spoke Spanish and translated forms to make them easier to complete.
For more than a year after giving birth to Thomas, she cared for both a baby and a teenager and volunteered with us when she could. But over time, she stopped attending Celebrate Recovery meetings, visited us less frequently, and relapsed on alcohol.
After being charged with driving under the influence, CPS opened another investigation. Rut called us the same day. “I can’t do this alone. I need to come back,” she said.
We responded immediately and met with Rut to offer encouragement and support. That same week, we also met with the CPS investigator and explained that Rut was reengaging with us. They responded by closing her investigation. She started attending recovery meetings regularly again and later enrolled in DUI court for added accountability.
We sat with Rut in recovery meetings and she checked in whenever the process felt overwhelming. As her health improved again in sobriety, Rut resumed volunteering more at our family resource center.
As her life continued to stabilize, Rut also began shaping our work with families. She translated during intakes and shared feedback from parents about what was confusing, where the process slowed down, and what felt welcoming. We made adjustments to our programs based on what she saw, heard and experienced.
Throughout the past few years, when life was especially challenging, Rut would call a staff member or someone from Celebrate Recovery for emotional support. And Rut offered that same support to staff and others in our programs in their time of need. When a mother came to us who spoke Spanish and looked uncertain and afraid, Rut would sit beside her, encourage her, and guide her to the resources her family needed. Families began asking for her by name.
Five years after our first call with Rut, Allen is working and living on his own. Thomas is healthy and growing. Rut is maintaining her sobriety by attending recovery meetings twice a week and volunteering with us. She counsels us on program decisions and is a consistent encouragement to all of our team and our Spanish-speaking families.
During some of her hardest days, Rut had cried into the phone and said, “I need people. I am alone.” Today she is the person she once needed, helping others, shaping programs, and strengthening not just the work we do, but also the people who once helped her.
